What's Your Nervous System Pattern?

Question 1 of 4

When something good happens — a raise, a compliment, an unexpected opportunity — your body's first response is...

I feel tired or numb. Like my body shuts down right when things should feel good.

I immediately start planning what's next. I can't sit with it. My brain jumps to the to-do list.

I feel like I need to earn it. Like it was a fluke and I need to work harder to deserve what just happened.

I give it away or downplay it. I deflect the compliment. I spend the money on someone else. I make it about them.

Question 2 of 4

When someone gets close to you — emotionally, romantically, or even a new friendship that's deepening...

I pull back without realizing it. I go quiet. I stop texting first. Something in me just retreats.

I keep it surface level. I stay busy so there's never a moment where I have to be fully seen.

I test them. I get guarded. I need to know they can handle me before I let them in.

I over-give. I become whatever they need. I lose myself trying to make sure they stay.

Question 3 of 4

Someone says something that hurts you. In the moment, your body's first reaction is...

I go numb. I can't find words. It's like my brain turns off and I just stand there.

I leave. I change the subject. I make a joke. Anything to get out of that moment.

I get defensive. I feel heat in my chest. I either snap back or hold it in so hard my jaw hurts.

I immediately wonder what I did wrong. I apologize even if it wasn't my fault.

Question 4 of 4

When someone offers you help, your honest first reaction is...

I go blank. I don't even know what I need. I just say I'm fine.

I say yes but then figure it out myself anyway. I don't actually let them help.

I feel uncomfortable. Like accepting help means I couldn't handle it on my own.

I immediately think about what I can do for them in return. I can't just receive it.